Part 2 : Fast Forward

DISCLAIMER : If this post makes you cry, we are not to be held responsible.

Jan 2013. Everything had changed. I had gone into total self-destruct mode. I was doing the opposite of what I was supposed to be doing. Like i was supposed to buy Kamasutra extra ribbed vanilla condoms and instead i bought some cheap regular latex from Mangal Bazaar. Now don't get me wrong. You must have formed a pretty big playboy image of me in your head(flattered for that btw). But truth be told, i buy condoms because i secretly hope that i'll be getting some soon / i love inflating them with water and sticking them to my chest and imagining i have huge bazongas i'm a responsible citizen.

Back to Jan 2013. <music in ears>. *mere photo ko... mere photo ko seene se yaar chipkale sanyaa favicol se*

Farewell. Continuation Party. Dancing. Boys were dancing as if they had just lost their virginities. Girls were dancing as if they just bought new shoes/new dress or whatever rows their boat. The world around was oblivous to these boys and girls. It was a full moon(poornima) moment.

Feb 2013. Amavasya. This transition can be well related to Ekta Kapoor soaps, which highlight the chaar-din-ki-chaandni-fir-amavasya-ki-raat concept superbly, wherein the bahu of the sasuraal is all joyous and smiling initially but then the saas springs out from somewhere in a surprise-motherfucker! manner and starts playing mind games.

Anyhow, back to Feb 2013. Exam pressure. Boys started looking like Chuck Norris, courtesy of untamed stubbles. Girls didn't buy shoes or have imaginary tea parties with their stuffed dolls anymore. Since I was a cool dude, I was on heavy dosage of Xanax and Mary Jane totally chilled out and played football regularly. By the way, I'd like to extend my thanks to New Diamond Saloon for adding to my coolness. I would go there every alternate evening after a thrilling game of football and the barber would put on some Rafi, to which we both sang out loud, and he would massage my scalp with Chameli Herbal Oil. Best evenings ever.

March 2013. Pretty normal. The usual for most boys. Jerk off. Study. Jerk off. Study. Sleep. Wake up. Listen to some remixed bhajans. Study. Jerk off. This J.S.J.S.S.W.L.S rythym pretty much continued for the whole month and even stretched to the next 2-3 months(fucking competitives).

May 2013. Results month. First up, Jee Mains. Couldn't dare to open the results page. My heart had stopped. This happened to me only twice in my 18 years of living. 1. When my parents checked my internet browsing history in 8th std.(No InPrivate Browsing then + i was too naive) & 2. When I watched 2 Girls 1 Cup(very informative video, btw. Its a great family watch). Anyhow, I mustered up my courage and opened the page. Didn't make the cutoff. Chalo, not the end of life. Nothing good old BRAZZERS can't fix.

-27th May 2013. Woke up. Opened CBSE page. Boards result. Saw the result. Got fucked. Went out of the house. Grabbed a beer with a friend. Saw Fast and Furious 6. Came back. Readied myself for the tidal wave of calls from relatives who are quite similar to Haley's comet. They show their face, once in 77 years and when they do, they mind fuck you with snide remarks.

June 2013. IIT/AIIMS are a distant dream. Btw, Medical students are still busting their balls in competitives. Some Science students go for a B.Sc program. Other stream students go to DU colleges or whatever other institutions are there for them. Some students decide not to give up(much like Sunny Deol in Gadar) and decide to take a drop. Cool dudes like me start pondering over selling chhole puri, banta, chuski, ganne ka ras as viable backup options.

July 2013. Reality hits you hard. You are going to college/dropping/selling chhole puri. You realize life isn't going to be the same. School's out. Friends are scattering away. You are doing things such as writing blogs with your best friend so no matter how far you go, you will always have some regular connection with him. It is time to take a leap of faith, Assasin's Creed style, and just hope for a soft and comfy landing.

-The Freak